Monday, April 14, 2014

World Peace

People love the idea of world peace. No more strife, no more stress, forever. Cute fuzzy bunnies, flower decked girls who are really understanding, your favorite food as often as you want it (and you gain no weight ever), no bullies, whatever weather when you want and NO TAXES! Sounds kind of like Heaven. Nice.  Really nice, except I’d screw it up just by being there.  So would you.

Of course this is NOT Heaven. We are mostly not angels. If you are, it’s your personal problem. By which I mean, not mine.  Just to establish our relationship.

I think I told this story once before but… It’s a good story, and it’s MINE.

Once upon a time I was 22 or something, I got caught up in one of those coffee shop debates with a kid (high school, I think.) who said that nobody really OWNS anything, And that we (by which he meant ME) should all become pacifists so the world could be perfect. “
Take an imaginary rock,” he says. “Who the hell owns a rock?!?”

Of course I found this greatly offensive, BECAUSE IT IS. So “My rock” and I took his lighter (Yes, you could smoke in coffee shops back then) and put it in my pocket.   The conversation went like that (Did I ever tell you I actually own the Rocky Mountains and an ocean somewhere?) until we got to “My Girlfriend” at which point he FINALY threatened me which was the plan.

”So you WILL fight? Then you are no pacifist,” I say.  He did flex his muscles and scowl at me until I left, but maybe he learned something. Also, education is great fun, unless you’re the student.

Moral: It’s only easy to be a pacifist if you don’t love anything or anyone.

Pacifism is just like that. It means you must accept EVERYTHING, and protect nothing. EVER.  Can’t do it, or it’s not Pacifism.   Bullies LOVE Pacifism. They really actually do. it makes bullying much easier, and who wants to work at it? 

World Peace works EXACTLY like that, but on a bigger scale. I don’t speak Russian but, I swear I keep hearing “MY UKRAINE….”

Now in the cold war, we would have been having joint training exercises in Ukraine well before Putin could mass his army (by which I mean get organized and in the right place to invade.) We’d be dug in and waiting.

Ronald Reagan was cool like that. Now of course we don’t have the troops, the will, or the leadership for that sort of thing.  You see, Putin is teaching Obama “my rock…” out of his abundant good will.

But, hey, at least we know why Obama quit smoking.

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